Friday, April 4, 2014

I don't know what to title this post... nice right?

So here I was thinking about procrastination.  Yah, it just so happens it's one of my very favorite past-times. But then I started really thinking about it; pulling it apart, dissecting it until the pieces were set, not so neatly, in a little pile right in front of me.

I don't think it's so much procrastination, it's indecision.  What?  How can that be?

I'm decisive.  I'm to the point, I always am the one who calls the shots without putting tons of time into the decision because, I of course, am Mom, Wife, the person "they" all come to.

But now, I can't decide which supplies to get for the shop, when to start dinner, what is the next move in my life.  I've become brittle I think.

I've always been analytical and need to know why for everything.  I'm not one to question authority necessarily but I need to understand it, to know why so that I might be able to analyze and imagine the reasoning behind the end result I am in charge of.  I like plans but I'm the queen of improvising.

If I ask you a question and give you a "box", if you will, to put your answer in and for some reason it doesn't fit into that box.  Then don't bother.

When I was younger my brother, Todd, and I would always play the "what if" game.  It would drive my Mama crazy.  Now, I feel like the "what if" game has become my life.

If I walked you through my most recent decision making process you would stare, open-mouthed, at the lack of quality in my thoughts, my rants, my worries and my end and final result of deciding not to make a decision at all.

I'm numb.

It's all silly really.  It's something I can't figure out how to change.  It's doubt, and lack of belief in myself because I feel weak, mentally and physically, it's all of that crap that the doctor spoke to me about.  I know, I need to stop being so hard on myself.  I need to heal.  Whatever that is.  I need to be left alone to reel my sporadic thoughts back into that box.

I need my confidence back, I need to believe in myself, I need a new freakin' keyboard this one is driving me wonky.  (That's one of my new favorite words just so you know)

I need time management to come back into my life, focus and balance.  

I thought that if I laid it all out on 'paper' this morning it might help me separate real worries, anxiety, and just being silly into separate crates, then take the trash out where needed.

We'll see.  

I do  know I ate too many vanilla creme almonds last night.  I do know I need to get into the shower and I'm certain I need more caffeine at this very moment.

For now, I'm going to go think about all of those earth-shattering woes.  Thanks for listening.

P.S. Here's a pidglet that's really mad at me right now; ironically, for being decisive.  But if you look into this picture Lil Red, you'll see the love I have for you.  Hold on to that instead.  Just a thought...

Happy Friday... holy crud is it really Friday already...

Over and Out, 


Wednesday, April 2, 2014


So here I am again with absolutely nothing to say except the random thoughts that pop in my brain and out my mouth... whoops, sounds about right.

So I was thinking about "stuff" ... like lots of stuff... like I'm overloaded with "stuff" right now.

My focus?  Worse than usual, and that's saying a lot.  Po and the pidglets are on full alert for things like me burning the house down while cooking and washing water in the washing machine because I've forgotten to put the clothes in or things like Po telling me I need to eat..

Po looked to me, "Uhh... what did you just do in the kitchen?  That doesn't look like eating to me." (me sitting down with my crochet bag)  Me:  "Oh, yah that's right... well I washed the paint off my hands..."

More meds please... 

I had this amazing day where I felt like I really knew the direction I wanted to take with my shops.  I took pics of all of the things I had made for the Cottage.  I FINALLY found a spot in the house where the natural lighting is good so my lazy butt doesn't have to take it all outside.  That night I took my camera into my room ready to list and one of my beautiful pidglets grabbed my camera, took one selfie, decided they didn't like it and deleted my entire days work off the camera.

It happens...

Here are a few selfies that did turn out from another day.

P.S. I handled the erasing of the pics remarkably well.  I will not divulge which beautiful child did it... but I can assure they are still alive and have all of the hair on their head.  Weird right?

Next day I woke up and declared myself a failure.  Oh I hate the ups and downs... although I'm certain my family enjoys them. Hehe.  It might have had something to do with everything.  Mainly me.  Funny how that works right?  Caffeine?  Yes please?

So I'm writing again.  It's yet another story that's been floating in my head that is screaming to get out.  So far I've come up with 3 different "sitchinarios" with the same type of characters.  I just can't seem to figure out who wins.  As far as where the story really lies.  We'll see.

Okay I'm off to create.  I'm gonna leave you with this piece of advice...

Stop being so hard on yourself.  Okay?  Oh wait that was for me.  Never mind, you guys just have a good day. wink.

Over and out,


Monday, March 17, 2014

Weekend update...

Po was off this weekend.  Weird right?  There wasn't a whole bunch of conversation though, I mean considering Titan Fall (new Xbox game) came out this last week and I had a major overhaul going on in my craft workshop/studio/room/ land of enchantment etc... 

Okay, like there's really ever much conversation going on with Po but still you know what I'm saying.  

Yah, I know, you can already tell I'm blogging when I have absolutely nothing to say. I'm winging it just go with the flow.

So, me in all of my glory, and let me tell you there is a lot, I mean a lot, of glory going on around me... huh?  I decided that I was bored and in need of entertainment.  We had set down the road to grab a burger that I had asked him for the day before but hadn't received and of course we all know I'm going to get sick even though I don't get mine with a bun, but that's neither here nor there.  So... heading down the road on yet another blechhh day.  

I tried to conversate.  Nothing.  He mentioned his game. I wasn't feeling like talking about how many kills he had.  I'm busy PMSing so therefore the "Good Wife Award" must be placed on another for at least  a week or so... or sooooooo... or at least until I stop eating all of the groceries I bought for the week in one day.

I get this wonderful idea we need to instagram pics of the two of us.  So I took this one.

Due to my amazing ability to mess up any picture - he looked as if his nose was flat and he was in the process of being abducted by aliens; the light sucking him upwards towards that uber large space ship.  

It happens.


Wow... can you get a manly-er chin?  I mean did I juice up in like the 5 seconds between these photos?  The best part?  Do you see that look of love on Po's face?  Is it not the most endearing "What the bleep is she doing" look?  Yah, that's my man.  Mr. Fun Stuff.  Maybe I'm not the only one PMSing.  snicker.


Bingo!  There it is.  "Mr. I'm So Sexy" looking off into the distance as his mentally disturbed wife somehow manages to photo bomb her on picture.  Nice Pidg... stay classy.

So that about sums up our weekend together... and yes I got sick on that stupid burger I just had to have. No worries I didn't document that one on the grams.  Besides, when my brain hurts from the immediate migraine of the ugly that is gluten contamination I imagine if I did take pics my head wouldn't be as large as the headache allows me to feel.  Wait... refer to picture number two.

Or does it?  

So I will be taking pics of the craft room I've always promised to show off this week.  Of course that requires me to be unslothful and competent.  We'll see how it goes.

Have a wonderful Monday.  Just pretend it's any other day of the week and that oughta get you through it.

Over and out...


Thursday, March 13, 2014

The room...

So yesterday I had the windows open in the house...glorious weather, just beautimous I tell you.  This morning - snow.  Evidently the weather patterns and my mind follow the same path of confusion.  Pshh.

I cleaned out the girls room yesterday.  No, no, please don't underestimate what an amazing accomplishment this is.  Three teenage girls in one room.  Seven, large trash bags of trash, 5 large bags of clothes to donate. One very happy, yet horribly loathed, Mama.  Hehe... after they realized they could walk in their room the loathing fizzled out a bit.

Through this experience however, I now have a very deeply nestled fear of lunchboxes. Things were found that should have been sent to forensics for further investigation; possible radiation and or plague might have been spreading.  

Best part?  While it appears to be a harry cupcake it has a produce sticker on it.  I have no pride.

No worries, the HazMat team has been called in, AKA Pidg, and items have been taken care of accordingly.

How did I let their room get so out of hand?  I shut the door.  Months of begging, bargaining and badgering and nothing.  So I opened above mentioned door and was sucked in to a world I never desire to return to.

Now, with that off my back and a little (lottle) of Motrin in my system I'm back to the craft room.  Not quite creating yet, still in the organization mode of it.  As we all know organization is somewhat of an addiction for me even though I often blow the filing cabinet of my mind all to pieces with my easy distraction. 

I like contradiction.  I don't really have much of a choice.

So I wanted to start writing down the funnies that happen in my world again now that I'm home more.  I say more because work is still a conundrum for me.  I can't explain yet seeing as how I don't really know what's happening.  And when I do find out what's happening I don't know what I will do in the end.  Got it?

The other day we got into a conversation, Busy, Red, Moi and I, about chewing gum.  Busy was informing us of the awful ingredients because she's as addicted to "How it's made" on her ipod as I am to run-on sentences.... Lil Red then says... "You can recycle gum you know?"

Me: "Really?  Into what?"
Lil Red: "Tires... no really you can."

Brief silence...

Moi:  "Well you can recycle human skin into furniture too but no one really does that either.."

Which furthered our discussion into serial killers.  Another uneventful day with the Pidglets.

Gosh I love being home again.  Wicked sarcasm and a dry sense of humor are sure to heal me up this time.

Over and out,